‘Robin Van Arsenal’ A One-Man Team?

Q: Why don’t Arsenal score from corners
A: Because Van Persie takes them!

Q: What’s the most popular item in the Arsenal club shop?
A: The Van Persie tea tray, because it carries 10 mugs!

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…

Unless you’re of a distinctly Arsenal persuasion, you’re probably sick to the back teeth of these stats by now, but here they are again one more time: 38 goals in 41 games in all competitions since January 1st 2011, 17 goals in 18 appearances since the start of the 2010/11 season (which is somewhere approaching 52% of Arsenal’s goals so far this term) and 10 goals in his last 5 matches.

‘Zeer indrukwekkend’ as the Dutch would have it.

Skip back a month or two to the start of the season and Arsenal were in disarray, supposedly suffering the cataclysmic meltdown that many predicted as a result of their high-profile summer departures combined with Arsene Wenger’s ‘I see no ships’ Admiral Nelson-style transfer policy.

The day they got publicly eviscerated at Old Trafford encapsulated their plight perfectly.

A self-induced loss at Blackburn followed shortly, but a week or so on down the line the Gunner’s experienced a sea change. Whether through coincidence or not, Van Persie hit a scoring seam against Bolton (notching his 100th Premier League goal in the process) at the end of September while Wenger relented and shipped in a platoon of deadline-day replacements and, by and large, everything in the garden has been rosy thereafter.

In fact, they’re almost unbeaten since that very day, save one defeat in the North London derby at the crack of October.

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Champions League 2011/12 Group Stage Draw

All of UEFA’s perspex balls of destiny have been drawn from their respective goldfish bowls of fate and, as a result, the groups for the 2011/12 Champions League look like this…

Group A: Bayern Munich, Villarreal, Manchester City, Napoli

Group B: Inter Milan, CSKA Moscow, Lille, Trabzonspor

Group C: Manchester United, Benfica, Basel, Otelul Galati

Group D: Real Madrid, Lyon, Ajax, Dinamo Zagreb

Group E: Chelsea, Valencia, Bayer Leverkusen, Genk

Group F: Arsenal, Marseille, Olympiakos, Borussia Dortmund

Group G: Porto, Shakhtar Donetsk, Zenit St Petersburg, APOEL

Group H: Barcelona, AC Milan, BATE Borisov, Viktoria Plzen

Well, Man City’s draw could have been a lot worse with Barcelona, AC Milan and Dortmund being the toughest possible permutation but it’s not as though the balls have been especially kind to them – Bayern Munich are seasoned heavyweights whereas both Villarreal and Napoli are not to be underestimated.

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Iain Dowie Struggles With The ‘Away Goals’ Rule (Video)

Despite being paid handsomely (the irony is not lost!) to talk about things, Iain Dowie is a man that cannot actually talk – and, by the looks of things, neither can he think that good about stuff like numbers either.

Schalke whupped Inter 5-2 in Milan last night meaning that, by Dowie’s calculations, the Nerazzurri will need to score ‘seven or something’ in Germany to reverse the thrashing…

Christ! You know you’re in a hole when Paul Merson is correcting your maths.

Video via 101GG.

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The new ‘tinker man’?

Maybe he’s mellowing in his old age, or merely becoming a little more scrambled, but neither fits, really, as a plausible reason for Sir Alex Ferguson’s compulsion to tinker with his team.

Last night’s Champions League game against Valencia was the 150th successive game in which he has made changes to the starting line up, to surely set some sort of magnificently schizophrenic record.

The Manchester United manager is the ultimate football pragmatist though, as his enduring tenure at the top illustrates, and there will always be a method in his apparent madness, no matter how unconventional.

This season has seen him ever more frenetic in his changes, and ever more bullish in his explanations for them. Yet the simple truth behind them probably lies in the wily campaigner’s creeping contempt for the standard of opposition his side faces in the early part of the season.

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Are Arsenal tough enough?

Two games, two wins and nine goals, this season’s Champions League has so far seen Arsenal at their best.

Arsene Wenger has doggedly stuck to his pure footballing philosophy in recent years despite the lack of silverware leading to ever more vocal criticisms of his methods.

On their day they are beautiful to watch, their opening Champions League game against Braga a case in point as they swept to a 6-0 win, playing fantastic football in the process.

But a long standing criticism has been their apparent soft centre. Wenger is accused of not having a plan B when his total football ideology fails to bring results and the Champions League betting suggests they will lack the steal required to win this year’s tournament.

In the Premier League teams know this and seek to physically bully the Arsenal players, often using methods that push the boundaries of the sport all the way – just ask broken leg victim Aaron Ramsey.

In the Champions League Arsenal’s passing game should be more successful, games on the continent are more suited to passing rather than the rough and tumble of the Premier League.

But look at last year’s Champions League winners. Jose Mourinho’s Inter Milan played aggressive suffocating football at times, especially against the Lionel Messi inspired Barcelona, to eventually win the competition. It was one of Mourinho’s Champions League specials, ensuring he changed tactics to combat the strengths of other sides.

When Arsenal tackled Barcelona they were comprehensively ripped apart. Credit to Wenger he again tried to play Barca at their own game, but came up well short.

If they weren’t good enough to out-pass Barca, are they tough enough and Wenger open enough to change tactics?

I don’t think so. They are good enough to reach the latter stages no question and will entertain on the way. But once again I feel the Gunners will fall short at the vital moment.

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