Tag Archives: chelsea

Top five implausible defences for Ashley Cole

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1. He misread the FA report and thought that they were accusing him of calling them a #BUNCHOFTWATS.

2. #BUNCHOFTWATS actually refers to bun choft wats. It’s a perfectly harmless hashtag about bun (a small cake), choft (according to Urban Dictionary, someone who pretends to live inside the internet) and wats (a Cambodian monastery). It simply means that any cake-eating FA panel members who based their decision on internet rumour need a period of quiet contemplation, ideally in a Far East temple.

3. Somebody else had his mobile at the time the tweet was sent. NO, DON’T START THAT AGAIN!

4. This was quite a restrained response. If he was really angry he would have nearly swerved his car off the road instead.

5. Oftwats is Cole’s much-touted regulatory body for hard done by footballers. It would perform a similar role as the likes of Ofcom and Ofgem.

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Going on holiday soon?

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Are you going on holiday soon?
Somewhere hot?
Going to be spending quality time on the beach?

Well you’ll to need a nice beach towel to lie on, so why not get one in your clubs colours and show who you support wherever you are.

They’re not so bad for when you get out of the bath either!!

West Ham Beach Towel

Chelsea Beach Towel

England Beach TowelManchester United Beach Towel

All these and more are available now at footballbits football souvenirs – the place to go for all your official football souvenir needs.

Will Avram Grant, Carlo Ancelotti & Roy Hodgson get the sack?

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After yesterday’s Premier League results it would take a lucky man or a fool to bet on the next Premier League manager to lose his job.

Avram Grant, Carlo Ancelotti and Roy Hodgson’s days are surely numbered after Blackburn Rovers thrashed Liverpool 3-1, West Ham was humiliated by Newcastle United 5-0 and Chelsea were embarrassed at Wolves whose 1-0 victory lifts them out of the relegation zone.

I think Roy Hodgson’s time was already up before the kick-off but this latest defeat may have the Liverpool owners turning to Kenny Dalglish as a caretaker manager until they can get a big name to take up the reins at Anfield.

Carlo Ancelotti and Chelsea’s poor run continued last night at Molineux.  It’s still amazing what has happened at Stamford Bridge since the sacking of Ray Wilkins. They started the season scoring for fun only to stumble and fall at the first serious challenge against Manchester City, and since then have never looked that confident.  If ever an English Premiership team could be compared to David Haye at the beginning of the season, only to fall from grace and turn into Audley Harrison midway through the season, Carlo Ancelotti’s Chelsea are that team!

Of the three managers things were looking brightest for Avram Grant this time yesterday afternoon.  I assume owners David Sullivan and David Gold may have been content with a draw against Newcastle at St. James Park until it was confirmed their first and second choice strikers, Andy Carroll and Shola Ameobi, were both injured.  They must have expected West Ham to grab all three points, not get absolutely hammered 5-0 with some of the poorest defending I had seen on Match of the Day since the Liverpool game, thirty minutes earlier!

Chelsea, West Ham and Liverpool to sack their managers in January, what are the odds on that?

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Carlo Ancelotti On The Brink Of Chelsea Exit?

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According to word in this morning’s Currant Bun, the majority of the Chelsea squad are fearing for Carlo Ancelotti‘s future at the club after watching their manager become increasingly disillusioned with life at Stamford Bridge.

Ancelotti is rumoured to be in a state of flux ever since watching his erstwhile assistant Ray Wilkins getting shunted from his post, a callous move that has left the Italian despairing over the ruthless nature of Chelsea’s internal politics, the club’s knotted web of power and the various schisms that are opening up within the squad itself.

The rag have also been able to call upon one of their fleet of well-placed ‘insiders’ to shed a little light on the subject:

“The atmosphere isn’t good at the moment. Everyone is convinced Carlo has had enough, though absolutely everyone is desperate for him to stay.

“He’s very, very popular with the players, who believe that he is an excellent manager. But there’s no doubt the squad itself is unsettled and cliques are starting to form.

“I understand resentment is starting to surround the French-speaking players, who are allegedly blaming other team-mates for the club’s indifferent Premier League form.”

Weapons-grade tabloid bum rubbish? Or, given Chelsea’s doleful slump over the past month, a heady cocktail of rumour-juice and truth-nuggets?

Has Ancelotti lost-the-plotti?

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