West Ham Relegated… Or, Avram Grant: Millwall Legend

Spotted above the DW Stadium this afternoon, at around the time Grant’s Irons were spunking a 2-0 lead at Wigan.

The Latics went on to win 3-2 and send West Ham down to the Championship. Uncle Avram is Mister Relegation.

At least now Carlton Cole will get to play at the appropriate level.

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Safe Standing Petition Needs A Business Plan

A two-way debate about re-introducing standing room at English football grounds has raged since ever since all seater stadiums were introduced, and both sides of have strong, well developed arguments to back them up. However, the unfortunate reality is that much of the debate is rendered invalid by the simple maxim: money talks. Until fans and fans’ groups realise that, no-one is going to listen to what they have to say.

Things don’t change in football without money as a motivation. The 1989 Taylor report is, rightly, associated with increased safety at football grounds in England. The reforms that it introduced – most crucially, all-seater stadiums – have been effective in, bluntly, stopping deaths at football grounds. However, looking more closely at how the Taylor report came about, and in particular who sanctioned it, gives an indication as to why things changed. Fans’ safety, alone, was not enough to make the authorities act. More likely, the prospect of re-branding English football to bring in the custom of a newly affluent middle class, was in the mind of Thatcher’s business-loving government, and future Premier League chairmen, when they decided that safety was finally an important issue. It cannot be a coincidence that the Premier League ‘occured’ just two years after the Taylor report.

Any move back to allowing some standing room, then, as has recently been proposed by the Football Supporters’ Federation, must convince clubs that there is profit in it for them. Because, if safety doesn’t force change, then ‘a better atmosphere at games’ certainly won’t. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you can afford.

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Is the PFA voting system flawed?

Last night’s announcement that Gareth Bale has been named PFA Player of the Year was not a great surprise to many. Bale fought off competition from the likes of Charlie Adam, Rafael van der Vaart, Carlos Tevez and Nemanja Vidic to scoop the prestigious award, voted for the highest proportion of his fellow professionals.

What has raised eyebrows amongst the media and fans alike however is the fact that voting for the award closes at the beginning of March! Surely we are in a position to question the nature by which a player is crowned PFA Player of the Year with a third of the season still remaining. Michael Owen eluded to the strange nature of the voting system on his Twitter account, tweeting that “Only half the season has gone when we post our vote.” He did however pass on his congratulations to Gareth Bale and PFA Young Player of the Year Jack Wilshere.

Stan Collymore, now a leading pundit on TalkSport Radio also tweeted his feelings on the matter, suggesting that “PFA should now have player of season rather than player of year. We work in seasons from Aug-May,so only that period should count.” Having experienced the voting system throughout his career, Collymore also stated that “Problem is,ballots are given out and done as a bit of a giggle in the dressing room.” We as football fans know that this award may not be all that is seems. So have the right players won this ‘Years’ awards?

Gareth Bale is the fourth Welshman ever to have won the prestigious prize. Having had an excellent start to the season, Bale’s form for Tottenham in the Premier League and Champions League was outstanding. Bale shows many of the characteristics of a young Ryan Giggs in the way that he moves with the ball and eases past opponents. His eye for goal has seen him score on 11 occasions this season (seven PL, 4 CL) and notch up three assists in the League. Bale’s injury problems however have seen him miss nearly 800 minutes of Premier League football this season so far! Some would say that Blackpools’ Charlie Adam is hard done by, having scored nine goals and achieved seven assists in the Premier League alone. He has also only missed three games (and these were due to suspension). Whilst I don’t want to assess the credibility of all the PFA candidates, I consider it important to note a significant absence from the nominees. Everton’s Leighton Baines has played 2970 minutes of Premier League football this season, meaning he has not missed a minute. During this time he has scored on four occasions and assisted 11 goals! His ability to defend as well as attack is comparable to Gareth Bale. The fact that Baines was 1. Not nominated for the Player of the Year award and 2. Not included in the PFA Team of the Year is simply a travesty. In typical form, seven of the 11 players selected in the Team of the Year came from Man Utd or Arsenal.

PFA Young Player of the Year

This award was far more accurate in terms of the credibility of the Winner. Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere has broken into the first team and has shown maturity way beyond his years. Perhaps his most significant performance came over two legs when his Arsenal side met Barcelona in the Champions League. Despite eventually exiting the competition, Wilshere’s indvidual performance was outstanding. Amongst the world’s finest Midfielder’s in Xavi, Iniesta and Messi; Wilshere looked calm in possession, creative and not in the slightest bit overawed. Wilshere has also broken into the England team this season and rightly so. Other nominees for the award such as Joe Hart (Man City), Luis Nani and Javier Hernandez (Man Utd) and Gareth Bale (Tottenham) were rightly beaten to the PFA Young Player Award by a player who will certainly captain England in years to come.

So… the PFA awards go by for another year. Whilst I certainly do not begrudge the winners of each award, I maintain my argument that the voting system is flawed. Having to cast a vote for the season’s outstanding players with 12 week’s remaining of the season is ludicrous. One would hope that next year’s awards may be entitled the ‘PFA Player of the Season Awards’, with the significant word being ‘season’ not ‘year’! One would also hope that the Team of the Year showed a little more diversity by selecting outstanding players from teams outside the Premier League’s top four.

You can join in the debate this evening on TalkSport Radio, where Mark Saggers and Stan Collymore are sure to tackle this debate head on during their live phone-in show. For now, we say Congratulations to Gareth Bale and Jack Wilshere on their respective awards.

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‘Kick The Cr*p Out Of Them’

Conforming to just about every stereotype going, perfectly-named Aston Villa director U.S General Charles Krulak has delivered a rallying cry to his players, urging them to ‘kick the crap’ out of their opponents between now and the end of the season in order to avoid relegation.

Krulak, who is a vet of the Vietnam war (he’s seen things man), delivered his sermon on the club’s Villa Talk forum:

“When my Marines put on their uniforms and the emblem of the Corps and went into battle and things got tough, they did not fight for their Commander, they fought for their brothers-in-arms, the men wearing their uniform and emblem.

“When a player puts on a kit and wears the club badge, I would expect the same. We have very good lads who know how to play with passion. We have all seen them do it and have cheered them on. They are professionals who have given 110 per cent in many games.

“What we need now is to quit pointing fingers and everyone look at the Claret and Blue of our kit and the badge they are wearing and go out and kick the crap out of the next teams we play until the end of the season!”

Probably says more about the ethos of the American military than it does about Gerard Houllier’s mounting problems, but you can’t fault the logic!

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Ryan Giggs Signs Up For 21st Campaign

Manchester United have confirmed that seasoned vet Ryan Giggs has been offered and signed a new, one-year contract extension at Old Trafford – thus taking the Welshman’s vaunted one-club career into it’s 21st season.

Said Giggs, who’ll turn 38 a couple of months into next season, via United’s official site:

“All I’ve ever wanted to do is play for United and I’ve been lucky enough to do that for 20 years. It is great to know I’m still contributing to the team’s success and I feel I’ve got a lot to offer on and off the pitch.

“This is an exciting time to be involved with so many good young players coming through.”

Sir Alex also offered his five-penneth:

“To have the desire and the ability to play at the top level in such a physically demanding position at his age requires a special person.

“You run out of words to describe Ryan. He is a marvellous player and a wonderful man.

“He is still turning in man-of-the-match performances and his experience is so vital for the younger players in the squad.”

‘Hairy’…’hairy’ is a good word to describe Ryan Giggs.

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